with your own penis?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize