So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
