was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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