I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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