Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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