She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
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She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
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Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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