could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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