I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
