so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
