Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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