Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Dicks are not precious.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
