I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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