Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
