I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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