White coat. Heels.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
