I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
