We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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