My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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