I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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