Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
