I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
