if you like me you must not know who I am
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
