I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
