Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
how drunk are you?
Several
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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