you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
