if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
