Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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