so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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