Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
