I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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