I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
