margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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