He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
