I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize