i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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