and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize