People with herpes should wear stickers.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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