im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
