Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
