i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
