U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
