its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
