There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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