I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
