Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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