I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Randomize
