why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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