She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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