i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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