Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
