dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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