we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize