going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize