Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
