She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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