So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
