He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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