He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
