you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
