so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
