I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
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The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
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He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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